Adaptability
How to Ask for Feedback at Work
Ask for useful workplace feedback with specific questions and email examples for managers, peers and clients, plus advice on responding and following up.
To ask for useful feedback, name the work you want input on, ask about one observable behaviour, and make the request easy to answer. Instead of ‘How am I doing?’, try ‘In our last planning meeting, what helped you understand my recommendation, and what could I make clearer next time?’ Give the person room to decline or say they have not seen enough to comment.
This guide covers feedback on your work from managers, peers, cross-team colleagues and clients. The email wording and conversation starters are fictional examples to adapt, not messages sent by EraSkills. Asking for recruitment feedback after a rejection is a different situation; this guide focuses on development within working relationships.
Choose someone who has seen the work
Start with the behaviour you want to understand, then choose a person with relevant experience. A colleague who receives your written updates can comment on their clarity. Someone who only met you briefly may not be able to assess how you handle disagreement over time.
Do not ask only the people most likely to reassure you. Different working relationships can reveal different effects of the same behaviour. At the same time, collecting many opinions is not automatically better than a focused conversation with someone who observed the work closely.
Consider power and comfort. A direct report or dependent colleague may not feel free to criticise you in a face-to-face conversation. Explain the purpose, avoid pressure and do not promise anonymity in a process that identifies the respondent. Use your organisation's established channels where appropriate.
Ask a question someone can answer
Broad requests often produce broad replies. Name a recent situation and ask about its effect. ‘Was my presentation good?’ invites a judgement; ‘Which part helped you understand the recommendation, and where did you need more context?’ invites an observation you can use.
Ask for both something to keep and something to change if that suits the situation. Do not require the person to invent a criticism or compliment. An honest ‘I didn't observe enough to answer’ is more useful than a forced rating.
- Communication: ‘What made my update easy or difficult to act on?’
- Collaboration: ‘At the handover, what did you need from me that you did not have?’
- Influence: ‘Which part of my proposal addressed your concern, and what did I miss?’
- Leadership: ‘Did my support help you keep ownership of the task? What should I do differently?’
- Adaptability: ‘When priorities changed, what helped you adjust, and what remained unclear?’
How to ask your manager for feedback
Use an existing one-to-one where possible and connect the request to a recent task or agreed development goal. You do not have to wait for an annual review. Give enough context that your manager can prepare rather than asking for an instant assessment of everything you do.
Email example: ‘Subject: Feedback on my stakeholder update. Hi, I'd like to improve how I explain recommendations. At our next one-to-one, could we discuss the update I gave on Tuesday? I'd value one thing to keep and one change that would make the decision clearer. If you did not see enough of it, I can share the summary first. Thank you.’
Follow-up question: ‘What would that look like in the next update?’ If the advice is ‘be more strategic’ or ‘show more leadership’, ask for a work example and the expected behaviour. Clarifying the expectation is more useful than pretending you understand an abstract label.
How to ask a peer or client for feedback
Keep the request bounded and relevant to the relationship. A peer can help you understand coordination; a client can comment on how your communication supported their work. Do not ask a client to evaluate responsibilities they never saw or to share confidential internal information.
Peer message: ‘Could I ask for feedback on our last handover? I'm working on making next steps clearer. What information was useful, and what did you have to chase? A short reply or a quick conversation would help; no problem if you don't have time.’
Client message: ‘Thank you for working with us on the review. I'd like to improve how I communicate decisions. Did my summary make the agreed next steps clear, and was there anything you needed explained differently? Please leave out any confidential information.’
A former colleague may offer helpful perspective on past work, but that is not evidence of your current behaviour. Be clear about the period you are asking them to reflect on. Avoid mixing feedback from very different responsibilities as if it were directly comparable.
Choose a useful time and follow up respectfully
Ask while the work is still recent enough to recall, but not in the middle of a crisis or when the person cannot pause. You can also ask during a project while there is still time to apply the answer: ‘Before Friday's review, what would make this recommendation easier to evaluate?’ For a difficult interaction, allow a calm conversation rather than sending a request while you are still reacting to it.
If there is no reply, one polite follow-up can clarify whether they have time: ‘Just checking whether you'd be comfortable sharing a short observation on the handover. It's fine if now isn't a good time.’ Do not keep chasing until you receive praise or a completed form.
If someone declines, thank them and choose another relevant observer. Do not treat non-response as negative feedback. It might reflect workload, discomfort or lack of exposure, and you cannot determine the reason from silence alone.
Listen before explaining your intent
When feedback arrives, thank the person and ask for clarification where needed. ‘Could you describe a moment when that happened?’ is a useful question. ‘Who else thinks that?’ can turn the exchange into a search for supporters or critics rather than an effort to learn.
If the answer surprises you, distinguish intent from impact: ‘I intended the detail to help, but I can see it made the request harder to find. What would have helped you act sooner?’ You can consider the observation without agreeing to every conclusion immediately.
If you disagree on the facts, stay respectful and check the relevant work evidence. Do not ask for honest input and then punish the person for giving it. Where there are serious workplace concerns, follow the appropriate reporting process instead of trying to resolve them through a personal feedback request.
Close the loop with a practical change
Pick one behaviour to test. For example, start the next handover summary with owners and decisions, then ask whether it made the work easier. Tell the person what you tried and what you learned. This does not oblige them to coach you indefinitely; ask before making ongoing check-ins part of the plan.
A direct conversation gives context from one observer. For a broader development perspective, EraSkills lets adult professionals assess themselves and invite people who know their work. Raters answer through a private link without an account. Results require at least three completed raters and show pooled feedback, not individual answers. Use the free self-assessment as a starting point, then approach other perspectives with curiosity rather than a need to prove your first view right.